


Say Something

by xxfergiexx



Category: DBSK | Tohoshinki | TVfXQ | TVXQ
Genre: Angst, Break Up, Cheating, M/M, Romance, discussions/thoughts of cheating
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-07
Updated: 2014-12-15
Packaged: 2018-02-07 22:22:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 12,984
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1916079
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xxfergiexx/pseuds/xxfergiexx
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Changmin thought his relationship with Yunho was over. But when his past lover comes tumbling back into his life, confusing him and making him doubt his current relationship with adoring boyfriend, Kyuhyun, what will be the outcome of this emotional roller coaster?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Beta: HUMUHUMU88

   (poster by [](http://toni-luv.livejournal.com/profile) [TONI_LUV ](http://toni-luv.livejournal.com/))

 

 

 

"You know, I always thought that when you meet someone and become infatuated and that infatuation turns into love then that's it. That's all that's needed to maintain that relationship. Even with fights and problems, that love holds you together. I was wrong," Changmin's voice cracked at the end.

Kyuhyun, his friend since primary school, rubbed his back and shushed him in a soothing manner. "I know it's hard now but don't give up on love. I know you fancied yourself in love with Yunho, but what you two had burned hot and got cold just as quickly. You need someone more stable."

Changmin wanted to defend Yunho but he knew Kyuhyun was right. He did need someone more stable. The word “commitment” had men like Jung Yunho running for the hills. Yunho wanted excitement and adventure all day long. Changmin was not and never would be that way. Give him a stable career and home to come back to and he's in bliss.

He was currently hiding in Kyuhyun's apartment after his break-up with Yunho and seeking comfort from his best friend. Kyuhyun had wrapped him in his arms the moment he saw Changmin's haggard, tearful face.

Eyeing his luggage, Changmin asked, "Are you sure it's okay if I stay here for a bit? I just can't go back to that apartment. Our lease ends in a few days and I know Yunho won’t sign an extension before he packs up to travel the world. I don't want to see him anymore."

 _Liar._ Changmin ignored the voice in his head and pressed closer to Kyuhyun.

"Of course you can stay. As long as you need."

Several days later, Changmin finally worked up the nerve to call the apartment complex manager and asked about his old place. The manager told him Yunho didn't resign and that there was still furniture in the apartment Changmin needed to move out. Yunho was apparently out of the country.

Choking on his own bile, Changmin sunk to the floor and tried not to cry. It was really over.

Kyuhyun supported him as much as possible. He drove with him to the apartment to move stuff out. They transported the furniture to a nearby garage that would sell them for half the price to other customers.

"Are you sure you don't want to keep them?" Kyuhyun laced fingers with him.

"I'm sure. I need to start over." Changmin couldn’t stand the thought of lying on a couch where he'd made love to Yunho so many times.

They drove back to Kyuhyun's place where Changmin insisted they get shit-faced. It was when Kyuhyun was pink-cheeked and tipsy that Changmin realized how _cute_ his friend was. Kyuhyun suddenly grinned at him and wrapped two arms around Changmin's neck.

A smaller, precious face flashed in his mind and to etch it away - Changmin kissed Kyuhyun.

"Finally," His friend muttered, kissing him back full force. Changmin lost himself in these new pair of lips that welcomed him so softly.

"I've always wanted more, Changmin," Kyuhyun breathed the confession.

Shutting his eyes and letting the overwhelming affection overtake him, Changmin took Kyuhyun to bed.

All thoughts of Jung Yunho were locked up, keys thrown away. Changmin was starting over.

 

 

 

**~Two years later~**

 

 

 

"Class dismissed!"

Changmin filed away his lecture papers in his briefcase. The dean of the university had been watching his lecture from a spot by the door and came up to him to shake his hand. "You're doing a fantastic job, Changmin. Tenure will be more than attainable for you in the future. You teach Literature beautifully and have been an excellent asset to the college with your published work!"

"Thank you, sir!"

Changmin was on a high from the compliments all the way to his car. He had to get home to tell Kyuhyun. Changmin couldn’t wait so he called his boyfriend from the car. "Hey, Kyu! Guess what?"

Kyuhyun chuckled. "What? Did a student hit on you today?"

"No, shut up. The dean gave me some glowing reviews. He mentioned tenure."

His boyfriend whooped from the other end of the phone. "That's my Changminnie! I'm almost done wrapping up this recording in the studio and I'll be home in less than an hour."

Kyuhyun was a music producer working for a company called, SM Entertainment. So many famous idols used his songs and compositions. Changmin was very proud of him.

"Sure thing, see you later!"

"Guess what, though?" Kyuhyun teased before Changmin could hang up. "I got the new zombie game that just came out. How about pizza, beer, gaming, and then a few rounds of sex sound?"

Changmin sighed longingly as he turned at a green light. "You know me so well. I love you."

"I love you too! Bye for now!"

They hung up and Changmin turned up the radio to sing along with a soft rock song. At a red light, he noticed a small light blinking from the corner of his cell phone. Pushing it on and sliding the tip of his index finger across the lock-screen, Changmin saw he had missed a call from an unknown number a few hours ago. There was a voicemail.

 

_"Please leave a message after the beep."_

_"H-Hey, Changmin. It's Yunho..."_

 

Changmin didn't hear the rest because he dropped his phone.

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

_"H-Hey, Changmin. It's Yunho..."_

Changmin ended the voicemail with a hasty push of a button and threw his phone across the bed, as if it was diseased. He stared at the phone. _Listen to the whole message, idiot, it could be important!_

 _What could possibly be important after two years apart?_ Another voice argued. Changmin had to agree there. He would just ignore it and it would go away.

Kyuhyun came home shortly after and all thoughts and worries about Yunho were pushed aside.

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

"Can anyone tell me what the flowers in this scene symbolize?" Changmin called the question out to the class. As he perused his students, searching for a victim, a small head peeked through the classroom door.

Yunho. Beautiful Yunho.

Time seemed to stop. Some students pretended to cough, rousing his attention back to the lecture. Changmin couldn’t even recall what he had been teaching, the words in front of him appear jumbled and nonsensical. He looked up to make sure it wasn't a hallucination.

Yunho. Smiling Yunho.

Left hand trembling, Changmin readjusted the watch on his right wrist. Even though there was still 15 minutes left of class, he dismissed them anyway. All the students threw him surprised looks on the way out, some whispering behind their hand as they passed Yunho at the door.

Now alone with his ex-boyfriend, Changmin sat down on his desk chair, not trusting his legs to hold him up any longer.

"How are you?" Yunho asked, approaching his desk cautiously. "You never responded to my message."

Changmin breathed out through his nose. "What did you want me to say?"

Yunho looked thrown off by the question then shrugged. "A hello...something. Did you even listen to my message?"

"I didn't think it would be anything important," Changmin cut straight to the point. "Besides, I'm with someone now."

Yunho reached out to clutch the edge of the desk, eyes traveling to Changmin's hands. "Are you married?"

"No, but I'm in a serious relationship. With Kyuhyun."

Yunho laughed humorlessly to himself. "Of course. Just delete my message. You're right, it was nothing important. I was in town and wanted to catch up. Your mom told me you work here."

"You were talking to my mom?" Changmin didn’t appreciate that at all. It was too domestic.

"Yes," Yunho looked nervous now. "She was glad to hear from me."

Scowling, Changmin decided to pack up his stuff and head towards the door.

"You're still angry with me," Yunho determined.

Changmin dropped his briefcase and spun around. "Being angry with you would mean I still cared. I don't care. I'm just pissed that you show up out of nowhere, sticking yourself back into my life, demanding attention, because you're suddenly _back in town_. It's just so typical."

"What's typical?" Yunho folded his arms across his chest defensively.

"You...you doing what you want and not paying attention to how it affects others!" Changmin spat. "Did you even travel the world like you wanted to? What are you even doing now?"

"I don't want to talk to you while you're angry."

"You sure had a lot to yell about before we broke up."

Yunho slumped against the desk in defeat. "Stop, I don't want to fight. Will you let me treat you and Kyuhyun to dinner tonight? I'd really like to catch up, Changdol."

 

 ~

 

_"Love me, Changdol, love me forever, okay?" Yunho pouted his lips upward, lying nude on the bed._

_Changmin blew hot air on the other's belly. "You can’t stop Changdol from loving you!"_

 

~

 

Changmin winced at the nickname that trigged such intimate memories. "Fine. I'll check with Kyu and text you later." He scurried out of the room without a backwards glance.

 

 

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Awkward dinner and an opportunity

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I had not abandoned this story! Hope you enjoy the continuation and remain patient as I update when time permits. :)

 

 

 

 

The moment Kyuhyun stepped through the front door, Changmin swept him in his arms and kissed him. Kyuhyun laughed. "What's all this? I know you're excited about tenure but - "

 

"I need to talk to you about something."

 

Sensing the serious tone, Kyuhyun pulled back from the embrace. "What's wrong? Tell me."

 

"He - He messaged me."

 

"Who?"

 

"And came to my classroom. Requesting a dinner with you and I."

 

"What?"

 

"To catch up."

 

Shaking his boyfriend, Kyuhyun asked in frustration, "Can you _please_ tell me who you're referring to?"

 

Changmin was mildly surprised, assuming he'd already mentioned the name already. "Yunho."

 

Kyuhyun appeared mildly stunned as he recounted slowly, "Yunho, your ex-boyfriend, got in contact with you, came to your work, and invited me, your current boyfriend, and you to a dinner?"

 

Hearing back how ridiculous it sounded, Changmin wished he'd turned Yunho down. But there was a clawing in his chest and nausea in the pit of stomach. Why was Yunho back in his life? _Why?_

 

"Kyu, I know it's presumptuous to think you'd be okay with this. I don't know why he's back but turning him down now would be..." Changmin averted his gaze, unable to continue. He felt small hands smooth his hair comfortingly.

 

"It's okay, Changminnie. Let's go to the dinner. I want some answers from that man anyway." There was a determination in Kyuhyun's eyes that made Changmin worry slightly.

 

If Yunho hadn't materialized back in his life, Changmin would be eating and relaxing and making love to Kyuhyun all night. Now that was all ruined. Unbidden anger at Yunho fluttered inside him. He planned to get this dinner over with quickly and as painlessly as possible, then get back to his content life with his perfect boyfriend.

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

_Awkward._

 

That's really the only way to describe the situation Changmin found himself in a few hours later. He was seated between his ex-boyfriend and his current boyfriend, who was silently whirling his spoon in a bowl of ramen and sending Yunho suspicious glances. Changmin sighed heavily then took a sip of the scorching seasoned soup from his ramen bowl, hissing inwardly as it burns down his throat.

 

Nobody had said anything in thirty minutes. Not after Kyuhyun struck up the question: "So, are you here to hurt Changmin again?" To which Yunho was stunned to silence. Every now and then, Yunho looked up from his plate, as if to say something but ended up reverting back to his food in dismay.

 

When Yunho had texted Changmin a few hours ago, suggesting they meet at this small ramen shop for dinner, Kyuhyun had agreed begrudgingly while Changmin glared at his phone. _What a cruel twist of irony. How dare you, Yunho?_

 

This shop was the place he had first met Yunho.

 

And now he was sitting here, practically reliving every aspect of that moment, every flirtatious exchange, every flicker of emotion in Yunho's adorable brown eyes. Changmin glanced up from his bowl and his gaze briefly collided with Yunho's...

 

 

~

 

 

_It was pouring and the brilliant idea to leave his dorm to eat out was becoming an extremely dumb one. But he was starving and had nothing edible in his mini-fridge. Holding the hoodie of his jacket over his head as he ducked under the rain, Changmin couldn't see beyond his feet. Out of nowhere, he was on his ass, hoodie off, rain soaking his hair, as he stared up into a pair of genuinely worried eyes._

_"I'm so sorry!"_

_Changmin shrugged off his embarrassment and pulled himself off the slippery concrete. "It was my fault. Are you hurt?"_

_The brown eyes wrinkled in amusement at the corners. "Isn't that supposed to be my question?"_

_Ruffling his wet bangs off his forehead, Changmin grinned sheepishly. "Yes, well, I hope you weren't carrying anything."_

_"Well actually..." Changmin followed the stranger's gaze to the bag of take-out that had fallen to the ground. Soaked noodles and vegetables had tumbled out of the Styrofoam containers._

_The stranger stuck out his hand and said, "I'm Yunho. And don't worry about my dinner. I'll go back in and eat inside. It's too stormy to walk back home."_

_Guilt gnawed at Changmin and he blurted out, "Let me treat you to dinner. It was my fault you lost yours. Please?"_

_Yunho tilted his head to the side, considering the offer. Changmin took the necessary action of pulling Yunho and himself underneath the roof of the ramen shop, shielding them from the rain. "What do you say?"_

_With an easy smile, Yunho's eyes twinkled. "I don't even know your name."_

_"OH! It - It's Changmin. I'm a university student. I promise I'm not a psycho. Will you have dinner with me?"_

_Yunho laughed boisterously. Changmin couldn't decided if he liked the sound or not, yet, he wanted more of it._

_"Okay, Changmin! It's a date!"_

_Then, Changmin was literally dragged into the ramen shop by Yunho and spent the rest of the evening being charmed by this handsome, cheerful man with cute eyes..._

 

 

~

 

 

 _Stop thinking about Yunho's eyes, you ass!_ Changmin scolded himself and reached with his free hand to grasp Kyuhyun's under the table. Kyuhyun squeezed back with a hint of a smile, seemingly relaxed under his touch.

 

"So, Yunho, when did you move back to Seoul? Where've you been all this time?" Kyuhyun suddenly asked, less harsh than before.

 

Setting his chopsticks down, Yunho jovially answered, a sense of relief in his tone, "I've been back in Korea for a few weeks now. Been living in Africa for the past two years."

 

"Africa, wow," Kyuhyun appeared mildly impressed. "Why?"

 

"I've been setting up a shelter there for under-privileged children. Schools and homes, mainly. Right now, I'm trying to set up a small college. The high school education system I've been running there has been thriving...I want to create more opportunities for teens who cannot afford higher education."

 

Changmin had stopped eating to listen. _So...you did it, Yunho. You're doing exactly what you wanted to leave me for. I hope it was worth it._

 

"So, why did you come back?" Changmin threw in rather rudely.

 

Yunho seemed undeterred by the attitude and cheerfully replied, "In order to set up a small college, I need to recruit professors. I've been going around to several universities in the country doing just that. So far I've been able to convince a math and science professor to join me. But now I need grammar and literature...a professor affluent in English perhaps. It would benefit these kids the most."

 

Warning bells were going off in Changmin's head but he ignored them. "Well, aren't you just a male Mother Teresa."

 

Yunho's bright expression crumbled before his eyes. Changmin wanted to bite his tongue and take back the sarcastic remark but it was too late. Kyuhyun cleared his throat and excused himself to go to the bathroom, releasing Changmin's hand in the process.

 

Changmin felt striped and naked under Yunho's hurt gaze. "Sorry..."

 

Swallowing nervously, Yunho said, "I know I'm not your favorite person anymore. I know the way we ended things was bad, but Shim Changmin, you don't have to be cruel."

 

He couldn't stop the biting words. It was like a waterfall of pent up emotion. "You mean, like when you decided that compromising was too much trouble and left me? You have no right to even dictate what is _cruel_ , Yunho."

 

"Please, stop." Yunho sucked in a breath. "It's been two years. You cannot be this bitter. You were unyielding too, Changmin!"

 

Rubbing his eyes tiredly, Changmin pleaded, "What do you want from me? Why'd you come back? You had to have known this wouldn't end well. What did you expect, honestly? That I'd welcome you back with open arms? I moved on!"

 

"I see that." Yunho said quietly.

 

Changmin squeezed his eyes shut. Memories of their break-up flashing behind his eyelids.

 

 

~

 

 

_"Come with me!" Yunho yelled. "The world is not the four walls of your room! You are a coward!" The man looked near tears, beautiful face wrecked with emotion._

 

_"How can you ask me to give up all I've worked for?" Changmin wiped the tears from his cheeks aggressively. "You are the coward for running away and giving up on us!"_

 

_With shallow breaths, Yunho backed away to the door. Panic arose inside Changmin, "Say something!"_

 

_Shaking his head, Yunho turned the knob of the door and disappeared without a word of good-bye._

 

 

~

 

 

"Changmin?"

 

Opening his eyes, Changmin saw Kyuhyun standing by the table, rubbing one of his arms self-consciously. This was the man he loved now. The man that stayed by his side.

 

He stood and bent down to kiss Kyuhyun's cheek. "Ready to go?"

 

His boyfriend looked toward Yunho, who was still seated at the table and staring blankly at his plate. "Good-bye, Yunho. It was...nice to see you again."

 

Changmin didn't offer a word as they left. At the door of the shop, he glanced back and spotted Yunho lowering his head to bury his face in the crook of his arm. Changmin's gut twisted, some part of him wanted to walk back there and comfort the man.

 

He stifled the urge and followed Kyuhyun. _Good-bye, again, Yunho._

 

Later on that night, Changmin made-love to his boyfriend in bed...and for one terrifying moment, Kyuhyun's brown irises turned into Yunho's, loving him like they did years ago.

 

When he rolled off Kyuhyun, Changmin pretended the moisture on his cheek was sweat and wiped it off.

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

The next day, Changmin functioned like a robot. Reciting his practiced lectures without the usual witty humor, and even gave his students an extra difficult assignment just for good measure. He was in a shitty mood, to say the least.

 

After his last class was dismissed, the dean barged into his classroom...with Jung Yunho in tow.

 

Changmin cursed under his breath. He kind of knew what was coming...before the dean even asked...

 

"Changmin! An old friend of yours paid me a visit the other day and has come with an amazing vocational opportunity for you!"

 

Keeping his breathing calm, Changmin resisted the urge to run and listened to the dean drone on about a trip to Africa.

 

"Your friend, Yunho, has plans to set up a small college and is recruiting professors. Your work here has been superb and your English is good, you were at the top of my list. It would really put our university in good standing world-wide, plus you'd have more time for your research, I think. This opportunity could sprout great publications from you!" The dean clamped his hand on Changmin's shoulder. "Think about it: a documentary alone could reel in millions of readers to our library!"

 

After a polite pause, Changmin asked, "May I have a few words alone with Yunho, sir?"

 

"Of course, of course! Discuss!" The dean left the classroom with a spring in his step.

 

Changmin grabbed Yunho by the arms the moment the dean shut the door and shook him once. "What the hell are you thinking? I'm not fucking going to Africa with you."

 

"I need the best for my kids," Yunho said calmly. "You're the best. When I saw your name on the dean's list yesterday...I had to call you."

 

"So that's what the phone message and dinner invitation was about?" Changmin stared in disbelief. __Of course it was all about work...work and flighty dreams were the most important thing to Yunho._ Why am I so hurt by this?_

 

"Yeah..." Yunho looked down, gently pulling away. "I think you would be very good for the kids there. But if you want to turn this opportunity down, by all means, go ahead."

 

Changmin dropped his hands from Yunho's arms, stepping back because he was starting to feel overwhelmed with the man's scent. It brought on too many memories...in particular, several in bed with sweaty sheets and...

 

___NO!_ _ _

 

"I can't fucking go with you to Africa! What about Kyuhyun?"

 

"He can come too, if you want."

 

Changmin scowled. "He's a music producer. I can't take him away from his job."

 

Yunho shrugged. "That's up to you two. I'm simply trying to offer you a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. Take it or leave it."

 

As if in slow motion, Changmin watched as Yunho backed away. He was leaving again. This time forever, perhaps. Fear struck his heart and he reacted.

 

"I'll take it."

 

He _should_ have discussed it with Kyuhyun first. He should _not_ be doing this at all. But as he watched Yunho's face lax with happiness, Changmin forgot about what he should or shouldn't be doing.

 

 

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kyuhyun accepts and Changmin goes on the trip

 

 

 

 

Kyuhyun didn't speak to Changmin for days after he told him about the eminent trip to Africa. The silent treatment scared the shit out of him but he really couldn't fault his boyfriend for being pissed. After sending fifth bundle of roses to Kyuhyun's studio in apology for making the singular decision to leave, Changmin was at his rope's end. He hung up with the flower shop and rubbed his sore neck.

 

What if Kyuhyun never forgave him? Was their relationship over? He couldn’t imagine his life without Kyuhyun...the man was his best friend. And they had developed a healthy and happy relationship over the past two years. Changmin set his jaw in determination to confront Kyuhyun tonight. He refused to suffer through another night on the cold couch.

 

Tonight, he would tell Kyuhyun that he's going to break the agreement with Yunho and tell his ex-boyfriend to find another English professor. _There_ , Changmin mentally decided, _that should fix things_.

 

Setting the essays he was grading off to the side, Changmin made his way to the kitchen to prepare a fancy, apology dinner for his boyfriend. And not once would let his mind wander to Yunho and the reckless decision he made to travel with his ex-boyfriend half-way across the world.

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

When Changmin and Kyuhyun sat down to eat that night, Changmin firmly said whilst staring at his soup, "I won't go. Just forgive me, please. I miss you."

 

Kyuhyun chewed on a piece of bread, saying nothing. They ate in an awkward silence until Kyuhyun finally broke it with a sharp cough. "Go to Africa. You have my consent."

 

Lifting his head up, stunned, Changmin stuttered, "Kyu, I - I - um -"

 

"Just shut up," Kyuhyun sighed and clanged his spoon down on his plate. "I'm sick of your puppish attempt to mollify me to the idea. Stop sending flowers. Just stop. I thought about it and thought about it and realized why you agreed to the trip. It is a good business move. I know you'll be great for those kids."

 

Changmin was in awe at how understanding his boyfriend was being. "You're amazing, you know that? I don't know if I could stand you traveling with an ex."

 

Kyuhyun laughed with hint of bitterness. "If you really love me, it shouldn't matter. Just come back to me, Changmin."

 

That literally broke Changmin's heart. He rushed up to his feet and lunged to Kyuhyun's side, kneeling on the floor to meet at eye-level. "I will come back. I love you."

 

Doubt flickered in Kyuhyun's eyes as he pointed out, "You loved Yunho too. What if those feelings - "

 

Changmin responded a tad roughly, " _Loved!_ I don't care for that infuriating man anymore." He cupped Kyuhyun's face. "Come with me."

 

"To Africa?" His boyfriend looked startled. "I can't - I'm in the middle of a production for a new artist."

 

"I won't be leaving for another few months anyway...until the semester is over. Think of it as a vacation. You can stay by my side for a couple of months, come back home, and I'll join you in another few months. I’m only going to do this for a year."

 

Doubt was dissipating from Kyuhyun's eyes. "Maybe...I could use that time to write songs."

 

"Yes!" Changmin chirped, placing a kiss on his boyfriend's nose. It worked. Kyuhyun had softened - he was accepting him again. Things were going to turn out alright after all.

 

Changmin lied back in relief later that night, holding Kyuhyun closely. He began mentally preparing himself for the long year in Jung Yunho's company.

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

**Three months later...**

 

 

 

_Beep!_

 

_"I'll meet you in the airport!"_

 

_End of messages. You have one old message from -_

 

Changmin turned off his phone after hearing the new message Yunho had left on his voicemail and tucked it into his carry-on bag. This was it. He was meeting Yunho in Africa. Kyuhyun wasn't going to join them for another two months...job obligation could not release him any sooner.

 

Changmin clutched the arm rests and zoned in and out of consciousness for most of the long flight. He could barely stomach the airplane food for the knot in his stomach refused to unwind. A feeling of dread and something else he couldn't quite put into words choked him for the entire trip.

 

After he got off the plane, and going through immigration, Changmin went out the main entrance after collecting his luggage and followed the crowd. Standing there amongst the people waiting for their loved ones, with a sign that read: _Shim Changmin_ and a letter 'B' that he knew was actually Yunho's poor attempt at drawing a heart, was his ex-boyfriend.

 

"Changmin!" Yunho waved with an easy smile. Changmin gripped his suitcase tighter and approached the cheerful man. _God damn it, that smile..._

 

"A cab is waiting for us!" Yunho reached out to help Changmin with his bag but he pulled it back out of reach. Retracting his hand, smile faltering for just a second, Yunho gestured for Changmin to follow.

 

Changmin watching the man's back the whole way out of the airport, a big part of him already regretting this decision. _Will I be able to survive such proximity with the man who dominated every part of my life since college?_

 

When Yunho stopped abruptly, Changmin literally ran into him. When his crotch met with Yunho's backside, Changmin groaned. _No._

 

Yunho littered out a string of apologies, thinking he probably hurt Changmin. "Forget it!" He snapped and lugged his suitcase and backpack into the trunk of the cab.

 

The ride to the village they would be staying at was quiet. Changmin stared out the window and let old memories cloud his mind for the umpteenth time over the past three months...

 

 

 

 

~

 

 

 

 

_Pushing up his glasses, Changmin read a paragraph from his literature book before his eyes started to droop. A bounce on the couch cushion startled him awake. Yunho had come home and was now curling up against his side._

_"I need you!" Yunho whined theatrically._

_"I'm studying," he replied monotonously._

_"Don't care..."_

_"Damn you." Changmin threw his textbook to the floor and kissed the pout right off Yunho's plump lower lip. They tumbled in tangled limbs onto the couch. Yunho arched his hips up and whined some more. Changmin's mind discarded all thoughts of studying and focused on getting the man underneath him naked._

_After a few minutes of preparation and wet kisses, Changmin was finally settled deep inside Yunho, moving shallowly and with hard jabs, he grumbled, "I can't resist you. Ever."_

_Yunho moaned deliciously and brought Changmin's head to rest against the crook of his neck. "Mmmhhh, don't try to then."_

 

 

 

 

~

 

 

 

 

"Fuck everything," Changmin muttered to himself, willing the lustful memory to go away. "Kyu...Kyu..."

 

Yunho was watching him strangely from the corner of his eye. Changmin never acknowledged the looks and steered his thoughts to Kyuhyun...wondering idly what his boyfriend was up to right now.

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

When they arrived at the village, Yunho immediately showed him the medium-sized, stone house with a red roof they would be staying at, and helped him settle his stuff into one of the quaint rooms. The place was clean and cozy, designed and decorated by Yunho himself, as he was told. Its location was right on the edge of village, on top of a hill. Very much like a doll house, the place was just the right amount of country and homey.

 

"This house is great," Changmin couldn't resist saying as he looked around curiously. "You actually designed this."

 

Yunho looked both pleased and bashful. "Yes...it's my dream home."

 

Changmin looked back at Yunho in surprise. "Dream home. You couldn't have built this in Seoul? Why here?"

 

Yunho said thoughtfully, "Because I get the adventure, career, and home here. But although - um - never mind." His ex caught his lip worriedly and disappeared into the kitchen.

 

 _But what?_ Changmin stared, curiosity gnawing at him. He left it alone, though. No need to nag at it. Changmin wasn't Yunho's home anymore.

 

He began unpacking his bags, thoughts tangled and confused.

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

Yunho fed Changmin a decent meal, then they trekked out of the house and into the village. Changmin had changed into khakis, boots, and a short-sleeved shirt because the terrain was jagged and muddy, and the sun was beating down pretty hard. It was technically winter time, but temperatures were still warm during the day. Yunho informed him that at night, temperatures cooled and the air would be nice and crisp.

 

Yunho introduced him to some of the villagers, speaking a language Changmin wasn't familiar with. Surprisingly, he wasn't looked at suspiciously as a stranger, but greeted warmly and amicably. _They must trust me because they trust Yunho_ , Changmin thought as he noticed the obvious affection the men, women, and children had for Yunho.

 

A while later, they entered the school that Yunho had built. It was quite spacious, and sectioned off with numerous classrooms.

 

"We have elementary through high school here," Yunho said, pointing a finger down a corridor. "And now we've opened up a few classrooms for the college classes. Let me show you yours..."

 

On the way, Changmin got to meet the science and math professor Yunho had roped into doing this. The math teacher went by the name Hojun and seemed very comfortable and attached to Yunho. Changmin watched the looks they exchanged carefully. _Are they more than friends?_

 

The science teacher introduced himself as Siwon and had a stuffy, church pastor-like personality. He seemed decent enough, though, with his handsome face and toothy smiles.

 

They soon left the two professors to finish prepping for class and entered a nearby, empty classroom.

 

"This one is yours, Changmin!" Yunho skipped to the front of the classroom and twirled in place.

 

Dragging his eyes away from the enthusiastic man, Changmin took in his new workplace for the next year. It was barren, but the chalkboard and teacher's desk appeared new and unused.

 

"Looks good," He commented, picking up a piece of chalk and writing his name on the board in English. "I can definitely work with this."

 

Yunho smiled widely. "I'm so happy you approve! You're gonna love the kids. They - "

 

A girly shriek interrupted them and suddenly Yunho had an armful of a little girl. "Papa!"

 

Changmin gaped. _Papa?_

 

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A domestic routine...

 

 

 

 

Yunho lifted the little girl in his arms and faced Changmin. The little girl hid her face in Yunho's neck but peered up at Changmin's shyly.

 

"Changmin, this is Arjana," Yunho appeared wary as he introduced her.

 

"You're married?" Changmin blurted out rather harshly.

 

Yunho froze then placed a gentle kiss on Arjana's cheek. Changmin assessed the girl closely. Her skin was smooth, dark, and beautiful. She had the biggest pair of bright brown eyes, and her black hair was parted down the middle and pulled up into two cute pigtails. She was wearing a blue, long-sleeved dress and white tights with a pair of black slip-on dress shoes adoring her small feet.

 

 _Arjana...pretty name_ , Changmin thought with a painful throb in his heart at the sight of Yunho with a child.

 

The throbbing intensified when Yunho walked towards him and said, "Arjana is my daughter, Changmin. Say hi to her."

 

Changmin gazed at the young girl. "Hello...Arjana."

 

The girl lifted her head off her father's shoulder, small face slowly overcome with a smile. Changmin tore his eyes away and asked Yunho again, "You're married?"

 

"Do I have to be married to have a child?" Yunho resorted. He was still dodging the question, which was beginning to piss Changmin off. Yunho _married_. God, the throbbing was beginning to cause him nausea.

 

Teeth clenched, Changmin kept his mouth shut and stared at the floor. He heard Yunho speak softly to Arjana and then exit the classroom.

 

Changmin spun around and sat on the teacher's desk, pinching the bridge of his nose. Why was he feeling so angry?

 

Yunho came back into the classroom and quietly shut the door. "Changmin, listen, let me explain - "

 

"No," he interrupted. "You don't owe me any explanation."

 

"But - "

 

"No!" Changmin nearly shouted. "You have a dream home, a child, and possibly a wife here. You've built the perfect life for yourself." He slid off the desk and made his way to the door. When his hand touched the door knob, Yunho's warm hand covered his. Electricity shot up Changmin's arm and he resisted the urge to jerk back.

 

"It's not what you think," Yunho said gently.

 

"And what _do_ I think exactly?"

 

Staring imploringly into Changmin's eyes, Yunho spoke steadily, "That I planned this lifestyle. That I left you to build a home and have a child...I'm not married, Changmin."

 

Inexplicable relief washed over him in folds. Changmin cleared his throat. "So Arjana is adopted?"

 

"Yes. Her mother died shortly after giving birth...the young woman asked me to take care of Arjana. I don't know the father." Yunho added heartily, "But it doesn't matter. I am her father now. She's the reason I decided to build a house and try to live as normal and stable as possible."

 

" _Normal and stable_ ," Changmin repeated, upper lip curled in a sneer. "Two things I never would have imagined Jung Yunho wanted in life. I thought adventurous and flighty were more your style."

 

Yunho grew silent, eyes lowered and hand gripping Changmin's harder.

 

His vision blurred, the scene faded to an argument he and Yunho had early on in their relationship...

 

 

 

 

~

 

 

 

 

_The front door shut, shaking Changmin out of snooze mode. He'd crashed on the couch while revising papers, waiting up for Yunho._

 

_"Where have you been?" He asked in irritation, glancing up at the clock._

 

_"I texted you that I'd be hanging out with my old college buddies after work," Yunho said casually, shaking off his coat._

 

_"You're always doing that nowadays," Changmin breathed out tiredly. "I cooked us dinner and everything...I figured you'd be back at a decent time."_

 

_Yunho appeared sheepish. "Sorry. I'll try the food now!"_

 

_Changmin strode towards Yunho, to kiss him, before wrinkling his nose and pulling back. "Smoking again?"_

 

_With a miffed expression, Yunho headed to the kitchen. Changmin was hot on his heels, nagging the whole way. "You said you'd stop smoking!"_

 

_"It's not a big deal if I have one every once in a while!" Yunho jerked a drawer open to take out a fork._

 

_"Why do you do it?"_

 

_"Because I'm stressed!" Yunho dropped the fork and hung his head._

 

_Changmin blinked. "Why...what's wrong? Tell me!"_

 

_"I don't know what to tell you, Changmin, except that I'm feeling claustrophobic! I need more excitement. You know my buddies talked about a camping trip they went on recently? I didn't go because I knew you didn't like that stuff."_

 

_"Why didn't you go camping with them? You could have told me." Changmin tried to put a comforting hand on Yunho but his boyfriend moved out of reach. Well. That hurt._

 

_"Forget it, Changmin," Yunho sighed, picking up the fork again and stabbing into the big pot on the stove, whirling a mouthful of spaghetti onto the utensil._

 

_Changmin watched his boyfriend eat, all the while worrying about their future together. He'd kiss Yunho better that night. That'll fix everything._

 

 

 

 

~

 

 

 

 

Bringing himself back to reality with a shake of the head, Changmin slipped his hand out from underneath Yunho's. He retreated back into the classroom, standing next to the teacher's desk. "So. Explain to me the English and Literature curriculum you're exposing these kids to so that I know where to start."

 

Yunho considered him for a moment, then complied, "Okay, Changmin. Let's get started."

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

The first two weeks at the village, Changmin spent it preparing an outline of the curriculum he'd be teaching the students, as well as, going around the high school classroom and getting to know the kids. He was taken aback at how humble and polite these kids were compared to the college kids back in Seoul. These kids seemed thirsty for knowledge and thankful for every teacher relaying it to them.

 

He made the conscious effort to introduce himself to each and every one of the older teens he would have in his classroom soon. These kids had been the seniors of the school and were now present in Siwon's and Hojun's classes.

 

Changmin spent most of the day in his new classroom, with books and papers littered across his desk. Yunho occasionally peeked in on him to make sure he was on track. Anything Changmin required, Yunho provided. Shipment of classroom sets of textbooks, pencils and pens, and notebook paper were piled in an organized manner on the book shelves in the corner of the classroom.

 

In the evening, he went home. Well, to Yunho's home. Where he ate dinner with Yunho and Arjana, then retired to his room for a bit of reading before bed. That's how his routine went. He and Yunho haven't gotten into any arguments since the first day...in fact, they rarely ever talked unless it was about work. Sometimes Yunho volunteered tidbits about Arjana - what the girl liked, what she didn't like, and what she was like as a baby. Yunho had to rear Arjana all by himself, and only had help from a grandmother in the village.

 

Arjana liked puppies. One day, Changmin was roaming the small shops in the village and found a man selling small stuffed animals. Without thinking, he bought a stuffed, brown puppy with the change in his pocket and presented it to Arjana that very evening.

 

The two-year old clapped her hands and wiggled in her chair at dinner, clutching the puppy closely. Babbling with a mouthful of rice.

 

Yunho thanked Changmin with a quick, unexpected hug. "You are a surprising man, Shim Changmin."

 

For a few seconds, Changmin indulged himself with Yunho's scent and pressed his cheek against the man's temple.

 

Changmin was truly touched by Yunho's love for Arjana, but for some reason, it also irritably confused him. Where was _this_ Jung Yunho when they were dating? Where was the domesticity, the motivation to create a warm and stable home?

 

He had been aware of Yunho's love for children in the past, but never had the man hinted at adoption with Changmin. In frustration at the thought, Changmin tossed the book he was reading in bed to the ground. Maybe there was something wrong with _him_ , that Yunho hadn't wanted to settle down with him.

 

That thought bothered him more than he cared to admit.

 

In an attempt to distract himself, Changmin texted Kyuhyun on the pre-paid phone Yunho had provided during his stay. Kyuhyun texted back almost immediately with a heart and an 'I love you' to Changmin's 'I miss you.'

 

There was a knock on his door. His eyes flickered up from the phone screen and he called out, "Come in!", expecting it to be Yunho.

 

It was little Arjana.

 

Changmin sprung up from the bed and rushed to the door. The little girl craned her neck to stare up at him with wide eyes. Changmin peeked outside his door and found the lights out in Yunho's bedroom.

 

Arjana protested, "Min!" and raised her tiny fists. Changmin was frightened for a moment, unsure of how to act. Then, he realize the girl wanted to be lifted up. Odd. She trusted him.

 

Changmin carried her inside his room, leaving the door open and settle down on his bed. Arjana immediately snuggled next to him and shut her eyes. Beyond alarmed by the behavior, Changmin held very still and let the child sleep.

 

His heart began to thud loudly as Arjana's fingers dug into his chest and fisted a small bit of his shirt. In all honesty, Changmin wasn't aware he had fallen asleep until the morning sunlight struck at his eyelids.

 

He stretched, smelling breakfast cooking the kitchen. Arjana was still asleep next to him. He was staring blankly at her cute face when Yunho tiptoed into his room.

 

The softest smile beamed down off Yunho's face - it was actually the most beautiful sight, reminding him of past mornings when he'd finished thoroughly making love to Yunho. He could still envision that soft, toned body writhing underneath him and that smile telling him, "Stay inside me longer."

 

_Lord help me._

 

"Changmin...thank you."

 

 _For what?_ Changmin thought, both mesmerized and bothered by the gorgeous man and the memories he induced. "Wake her. We need to get to school. It's my first day with the students."

 

Yunho snapped out of his gaze and hoisted Arjana up. "It's amazing she came to you in the middle of the night. She must really like you."

 

"I probably gained her trust through that stuffed pup." Changmin snorted softly, eyes soft on the yawning little girl. "Or maybe she's just trusting and sweet like her father."

 

Yunho's eyes widened at the inadvertent compliment.

 

"Papa! Food!" Arjana cried out, breaking the silence.

 

Throwing her into the air and catching her, Yunho hopped out of the room with the girl's giggles trailing behind him.

 

Changmin briefly lied back on the bed and allowed a warmth he hadn't felt in a long time to seep into his heart.

 


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fights and things get more complicated
> 
> Warning: Cheating

 

 

 

From the first day, Changmin began adoring his students. They were so well-behaved and bright. Their English was good, but it was Changmin's job to hone their reading and writing skills.

 

As the students filed out of the classroom, Changmin followed the crowd out and made his way to Yunho's office. The man was at his desk, punching buttons on a calculator and shuffling through papers.

 

Changmin lightly knocked. "Hey."

 

Yunho looked up and grinned. "So?"

 

He hesitated for the right words then added a heavy, "Thank you."

 

"No, Changmin. Thank _you_."

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

Arjana made it a habit of visiting Changmin at night. She didn't do it every day but often enough that Changmin just kept his door open. In case he fell asleep, it allowed Arjana to climb right into his bed and snuggle whenever she pleased.

 

Yunho worriedly pulled him aside one morning as Arjana messily ate her oatmeal. "Changmin, listen, if it bothers you, I can tell her not to go to you anymore. Or just come get me and I'll take her back to bed."

 

Changmin considered this but immediately declined the offer. "No, it's okay. I enjoy her visits. Sometimes she babbles on about stories in broken Korean. It's cute."

 

Yunho let out a laugh. "I've tried to expose her to Korean because you never know...I might go back to Seoul eventually. I want her to be comfortable."

 

With a curious lilt to his voice, Changmin asked, "You're considering moving back?"

 

"Maybe. Once this school is up and running by itself. Siwon and Hojun need to go back after a year. They're training two adults from the village to take over their position eventually."

 

"What about my position?" Changmin wondered, worried about his kids not receiving a proper education in literature.

 

Yunho laid a soothing hand on Changmin's shoulder. "I'll find someone."

 

Leaning slightly into the touch, Changmin stared into the other man's warm eyes. "I...um...Kyuhyun will be coming soon."

 

_What...Why did I just say that?_

 

Yunho removed his hand, appearing glum. "That's great. I'm sure he'll enjoy his stay here. I'm sure you miss each other a lot too...it must be hard on you both to be so far apart."

 

Truth be told, Changmin had been so busy, so preoccupied with Yunho and Arjana, he'd given Kyuhyun only fleeting thoughts followed by quick texts over the course of the month. Guilt stabbed him in the chest and he pulled out his phone. He needed to talk to his boyfriend.

 

"Hey, baby. When is your flight?" Changmin left Yunho, who had turned away, and went to his room for some privacy.

 

Kyuhyun didn't answer right away. An unnatural coldness to his voice, his boyfriend said, _"I was thinking maybe I shouldn't come over there."_

 

"What?" Changmin began pacing. "Kyu, you have to! It's what we agreed on. I miss you!"

 

_"Really? I couldn't tell. I barely hear from you nowadays."_

 

Changmin sighed. "You know long distance is difficult. But I know everything will be better once you get here!"

 

Sounding doubtful but less cold, Kyuhyun replied, "Okay, Changmin. I had booked the flight for next Friday."

 

"Great!" After he hung up, Arjana's laughter traveled to his ears, causing him to smile. He wondered if Kyuhyun would warm up to the little girl as much as he had.

 

He heard the front door slam and peeked out to see what the commotion was. Changmin's eyes narrowed.

 

Hojun had Yunho in his embrace. And, in turn, Yunho kissed him on the cheek.

 

Folding his arms across his chest, Changmin watched the _precious_ , totally unnecessary intimate moment, then cleared his throat, "Am I interrupting something?"

 

Hojun released Yunho and stepped back. Yunho cocked his head to the side. "No. Hojun will be joining us for dinner."

 

_Wonderful._

 

Hojun had dinner with them frequently after the first time. The man brought Arjana gifts and flattered Yunho constantly. It was obvious Yunho and Hojun shared a lot of inside jokes and memories together.

 

"Remember the camping trip when I fell into the lake?" Yunho nudged Hojun in the ribs.

 

Hojun laughed, pinching Yunho's nose. "I told you to watch your step. But what happened afterwards made it worth it..."

 

Yunho's cheeks flushed, and he returned to his plate of food, avoiding Changimn's eyes.

 

It had Changmin unsettled and edgy. He pretty much ignored Hojun all through these dinners, and Hojun returned the favor by ignoring him back. Changmin's only consolation was that Arjana liked to climb onto his lap once she finished eating.

 

He usually patted her on the head and let her play with the watch around his wrist. _I'm sorry, Arjana, your father is too busy flirting his ass off!_

 

During the sixth evening in a row, Changmin cornered Yunho in the kitchen after Hojun left. Trapped in between Changmin and the counter top, Yunho stared up nervously. "Something wrong?"

 

"Oh I don't know," Changmin started sarcastically. "Just your behavior with Hojun lately."

 

"Excuse me?" Yunho scowled. "My behavior? Why does it sound like I’m in trouble?"

 

"Well, shit, you've only been flirting shamelessly with that man in front of your daughter...and me."

 

Yunho pointed out in befuddlement, "We're not dating. You're not my boyfriend. Why does it matter if I flirt in front of you? Not that what I was doing was flirting anyway! Hojun is a friend and, for your information, Arjana likes Hojun."

 

"She likes _me_ more," Changmin mumbled petulantly.

 

Yunho stared in disbelief. "What do you want me to say, Changmin? Or do you just feel like picking a fight with me?"

 

_Don't say it. Don't. You have no right. Think of Kyuhyun. Think of the consequences of your words!_

 

Smothering the voice of reason in his head, Changmin spat out the words he'd wanted to say for days. "You're a grown man but the way you act with that man, you might as well spread your legs in welcome at the door. I _want_ you to tell me that you and Hojun are not fucking, never have fucked, and never will!"

 

Yunho's eyes narrowed dangerously, fingers curling "Oh really? So you want to be a jealous prick about it. Fine. Hojun and I _have_ fucked before, and we may do it again in the future. Because Arjana eventually needs another parent figure. And Hojun is a way better fuck than _you_!"

 

Eyes stinging, Changmin pushed his lower body against Yunho's, pressing the other man hard against the counter. "I guess you've forgotten how I used to fuck you."

 

Yunho was panting, sweet breath hitting on the Changmin's chin. His eyes roamed all over Yunho's face, taking in every detail. With each breath, Yunho's chest rose and fell, dragging Changmin's gaze to the nipples perking against the other man's thin shirt.

 

Changmin gulped as he felt extremely tight in the pants all of a sudden. _Fuck it all._

 

He captured Yunho's lips in a harsh kiss that caused their teeth to clash. A cry vibrated up Yunho's throat as he clutched at Changmin's chest, not pushing or pulling...just _holding_.

 

_I’m the scum of the Earth...stop kissing him...stop!_

 

Changmin went on kissing Yunho, licking obscenely into the man's mouth as he pulled their bodies closer together. Yunho nipped Changmin's tongue and before he could flinch away, Yunho's tongue was tracing his mouth.

 

Cupping the other man's face, Changmin let him in.

 

Kyuhyun's face suddenly flashed in the forefront of his mind and Changmin roughly pushed back. "Damn it!"

 

Pupils dilated and pink lips swollen, Yunho looked absolutely irresistible. And Changmin was going to walk away.

 

"I'm sorry...I can't do this..." He left the kitchen and locked himself in his room. Dropping to the floor, Changmin buried his face against his risen knees and heaved a sob.

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

Changmin came home one day, set down his briefcase before catching a running Arjana in his arms. The girl shrieked happily and babbled a string of words in three different languages. Despite the tense, glum atmosphere in the house lately, Changmin grinned and carried toddler to the clutter of toys in the middle of the living room. Arjana went back to playing with her dolls, forgetting about Changmin.

 

With a chuckle, he began unbuttoning his shirt, pulling it off in relief as cool air hit his bare chest. A sniffling sound halted his track to his bedroom.

 

Yunho's door was ajar...the noise was coming from there. Changmin tiptoed in, but stilled at the sight.

 

On the floor, next to the bed, was Yunho. Silent tears rolling down his cheeks. When his ex-boyfriend choked back a sob, Changmin acted instinctively and hastened to the man's side. "Yunho? Sweet - eh...Yunho, you okay?"

 

Yunho winced, swiping at his cheeks. "Go away, Changmin. You picked a fight, kissed me, then rejected me. Haven't you done enough?"

 

"Did I make you cry?" Changmin asked somberly.

 

"I did this to myself." Yunho reclined his head back on the bed. "I should have never approached you with the offer to come here. It was a bad idea...I don't know what I was thinking."

 

"We ended horribly...I have a boyfriend. What were you thinking?" Changmin wondered hopelessly.

 

Yunho blinked up at him. "I wasn't thinking. You deleted my first message to you, right?"

 

Changmin nodded, even though he hadn't deleted it, curious as to why that message was important to their discussion.

 

Yunho smiled sadly, and uttered, "No one can ever replace you, Changmin. Not even Hojun." The confession was so soft...so heartfelt...

 

Heart thundering, when Changmin kissed Yunho this time, he wasn't sorry.

 

 


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Drama and break ups

 

 

 

Changmin pushed Yunho back on the bed and continued plunging into that full mouth. He whispered as he pulled their lips apart with a wet smack, "I should stop...I _need_ to stop."

 

"Then stop." Yunho played with the hair across Changmin's nape. A shudder ran through Changmin and he ducked down for another kiss.

 

_A few more minutes wouldn't hurt...I'm already damned._

 

Slipping a hand underneath Yunho's shirt, Changmin searched for the man's sensitive nipples and pinched one of them. Yunho cried out against his mouth then released a sweet moan as Changmin rubbed the nub lightly between his fingertips.

 

"We always did _this_ right," Changmin breathed. "No matter how many problems we had and the numerous fights... _this_ always felt right and fixed everything."

 

Yunho glanced up, irises flashing. "Get off me."

 

"What?"

 

Yunho shoved Changmin off and watched him roll off the bed and onto the floor. "Don't kiss me and tell me all that was special about us was the sex."

 

"That's not what I said!"

 

"All you choose to remember about us are the bad times," Yunho hid his eyes behind his long, dark bangs. "Do you even remember how all our fights ended?"

 

 _No, not really._ But Changmin wisely kept silent.

 

Quickly rising from the bed, Yunho went to stand in front of Changmin, reaching out to thread his fingers in Changmin's thick mane and massaging the scalp. Closing his eyes in ecstasy, Changmin had forgotten how Yunho used to do this for him all the time.

 

"We were good together, Changmin...maybe what you have with Kyuhyun is better, I don't know..."

 

 _Kyuhyun...what am I going to tell my boyfriend?_ Changmin opened his eyes as Yunho's fingers slipped out of his hair, and he watched the man walk out of the room. _If I don't tell him, I'm forever a liar and a cheat. If I tell him the truth, I lose him...and then what? Do I ask Yunho out?_

 

His relationship with Yunho was rocky. Changmin didn't think he would survive losing Yunho a second time; if they gave another attempt at a relationship and it failed...

 

What he had with Kyuhyun was solid. They were compatible and had a lot of fun together. The incidents with Yunho were just two reckless kisses...they meant nothing. It was time he pulled himself out of the past and focused on his current, loving boyfriend.

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

Teaching got so busy for Changmin that before he knew it, it was Friday and Kyuhyun was arriving in two hours. Yunho was still at the school doing some extra work, so Changmin offered to pick Arjana up from preschool and take her home.

 

The little girl was currently sitting in his lap, watching a cartoon program on the small TV in the living room until she fell asleep. He let Arjana nap for a bit before waking her. He needed to get to the airport to pick up Kyuhyun.

 

At the airport, Changmin climbed out of the taxi and asked the driver to wait for them. He put Arjana in a stroller and made his way inside. The digital chart for the arrivals told him Kyuhyun's flight had landed.

 

In thirty minutes time, his boyfriend was walking out of the gate, dragging his luggage along. He smiled at Changmin and threw his arms around him. Changmin held him close and sighed at the familiarity. Kyuhyun was so slight and short in his arms. So different from Yunho's athletic, tall build. He wasn't sure which one he preferred at the moment.

 

Kyuhyun stepped back and eyed the stroller curiously. "Who's this?"

 

 _Shit._ Changmin gripped the handles of the stroller, suddenly realizing he never informed Kyuhyun about Arjana's existence.

 

"Yunho's daughter...Kyu, meet Arjana."

 

The little girl blinked up at Kyuhyun but didn't react any further.

 

Kyuhyun appeared ready to faint.

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

"How can you not mention Yunho has a daughter, in all times we'd talk?"

 

Changmin shrugged sheepishly. "It just seemed like an awkward thing to bring up."

 

Kyuhyun frowned. "Is Yunho married?"

 

"No."

 

The way in which Kyuhyun was staring at him in suspicion was making Changmin uncomfortable. "Kyu, what do you want me to say? It slipped my mind to tell you...I've been busy."

 

Arjana ran too quickly around the room with her doll that she fell on her bottom. The whimper that escaped her had Changmin rushing to her side. "I gotcha, it's okay!"

 

Kyuhyun scoffed in a low tone, "Slipped your mind or did you not want to tell me you were enjoying playing house with Yunho?"

 

Changmin squeezed Arjana's shoulder and left her to play. He touched Kyuhyun's hand only to have his boyfriend pull away. It was so reminiscing of when Yunho rejected his touch that he winced.

 

_Why am I such a fuck up at relationships?_

 

Surveying Kyuhyun's downturned face, Changmin's mind ran through so many events in the past and it occurred to him how much better he could have dealt with Kyuhyun and the decision to come to Africa...or even further back, how much better he could have dealt with Yunho's need for adventure.

 

_Why didn't I travel with him? Why didn't I give that lifestyle a chance? I agreed to it now, why not back then?_

 

Changmin cleared his head and said to Kyuhyun, "Baby, I wasn't playing house. I didn't expect Yunho to have a kid." He added to lighten the mood, "Besides, this is good practice for me whenever we decide to adopt."

 

Kyuhyun looked up at him in slight confusion. "We've never talked about kids."

 

"Well, yes, but I just thought eventually - "

 

"Changmin...I don't want children." Kyuhyun dropped this bomb on him and left the room to unpack his luggage.

 

His boyfriend was right, though. They had never discussed children...they acted like children themselves usually that it was hard to imagine them raising a child.

 

A soft girly cry caught his attention. Arjana was flapping her hands and grinning at him. His heart squeezed.

 

_But I want children, Kyu._

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

Dinner was tense affair that evening. Yunho tried to strike up conversations only to have Kyuhyun give short, snippy remarks. Changmin chose to keep quiet as he ate.

 

"I'm going to bed early. Thank you for dinner, Yunho," Kyuhyun said offhandedly and walked off to Changmin's bedroom.

 

Changmin helped Yunho clean up and was wiping Arjana's mouth when Yunho asked, "Did you tell him?"

 

He didn't have to ask what. "No. Not yet."

 

"You can blame me, if you like," Yunho suggested, voice catching. "You can fix this relationship."

 

"I think it might be too late for that." He kissed Arjana good night. He glanced at Yunho, itching to kiss him good night too but held off.

 

That night, Kyuhyun rolled over and climbed on top of Changmin, peppering kisses down his throat. "I want you."

 

Changmin shut his eyes and prayed for courage. "Kyu, I need to tell you something - "

 

His bedroom door abruptly opened and Arjana appeared. He mindlessly pushed Kyuhyun off just as the girl crawled onto the bed. As he held Arjana to his side, Changmin glimpsed the sight of Kyuhyun's watery eyes before his boyfriend turned around and faced the wall for the rest of the night.

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

Changmin was working with a few students after class, tutoring them on a literary device when Siwon popped his head in and announced, "Changmin, Yunho wants us all to eat out tonight in the city. Bring your boyfriend too, it'll be a fun and nice break!"

 

Changmin wasn't so sure about that, but he agreed to go. Kyuhyun reluctantly went along with it after Yunho enthusiastically told him the idea that afternoon.

 

The dinner was agitating to say the least. Changmin sat between Kyuhyun and Yunho, who was bouncing Arjana on his knee and chatting with Hojun. The constantly subtle flirting on one side wasn't made any better by Siwon ogling Kyuhyun on the other, and making comments like, "You should see my chest muscles, I enjoy weight lifting...I'll bet I can even bench press you!"

 

Kyuhyun appeared at a loss but not displeased with the attention.

 

Changmin stabbed the chicken breast on his plate, stewing in his own unhappiness. During dessert, he couldn't take it anymore and leaned over to Kyuhyun, whispering, "You won't even consider kids with me in the future?"

 

Startled, his boyfriends turned and answered, "Changmin...honestly? No."

 

Changmin felt like Kyuhyun was implying _No, not with you_. The tears stinging his eyes matched the frustration building up in his gut.

 

_Yunho left you, built this home without you, and now your current boyfriend is telling you the same damn thing. There is no future with you._

 

With the intention to be brutally honest as well, Changmin stared straight ahead and said a little too loudly, "I kissed Yunho twice."

 

All utensils clanged to plates and everyone was gaping at him. Yunho looked fearfully at Kyuhyun, who gulped then slid his chair away from the table. "I knew it..."

 

"Kyu..."

 

"It's over, Changmin." Kyuhyun dashed out of the restaurant and didn't look back.

 

Siwon slanted Changmin an awkward glance, and asked, "May I go see if he's okay?"

 

Changmin knew trying to console Kyuhyun tonight was not a good idea, so he nodded at Siwon. He hoped the other man would at least see Kyuhyun home safely.

 

He heard Yunho mutter, "I'm sorry..."

 

With tone of self-deprecation, Changmin replied, "What are you sorry for? I just suck at relationships. I can't seem to be a man that others want to commit to."

 

Next to them, Hojun excused himself to go to the restroom. Changmin observed the man's hasty departure then inquired, "What does he have that I don't? Was I so boring, so unadventurous that you had to leave to be happy?"

 

Yunho bent to lay Arjana in the stroller then hissed in a hushed tone, "Don't say that! I meant what I said about no one could replace you. I wasn't that great at relationships either considering I couldn't hang on to you! I asked for too much - "

 

A pent up confession burst out of Changmin, "I wanted a home and kids with you, Yunho!" Stunned silence followed.

 

Arjana was napping cutely in the stroller, clutching the stuffed puppy. Changmin reached down to caress her cheek.

 

Yunho caught his fingers and beseeched, anger rising in his voice, "Then why did you let me go? Why did you never come after me? Instead, you shacked up with Kyuhyun, the man you spent the most time with while we dated. That said a lot, though, I wasn't surprised. I never felt you wanted a commitment, Changmin!"

 

 

 

~

 

 

 

_"I’m going over to Kyuhyun's to play video games."_

 

_"Changmin, don't go, I'm trying to tell you something."_

 

_"I'll be back a little later..."_

 

_"Changmin, will you listen! I have a business venture in Africa!"_

 

 

 

~

 

 

 

Winded and weary, Changmin shot up from his chair and stumbled away from the table as regret ate away at his nerves.

 

"Changmin, come back!"

 

He didn't listen and kept walking.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am planning one more chapter. But I won't be able to update for a week or so. Hope y'all can be patient, I'm sorry!
> 
> Your comments have been wonderful, thank you so much!


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Good-byes and second chances

 

 

 

 

Changmin stared at Kyuhyun's packed bags, waiting for his soon-to-be ex-boyfriend to speak. Kyuhyun was sitting as far away from Changmin as possible on the small bed.

 

"It's over."

 

"I know," Changmin replied automatically. "Kyu, I love you...you must know that."

 

He heard Kyuhyun sigh heavily. "I know. And I love you, but I can't go on knowing you still have feelings for Yunho. Part of me always suspected, but I deluded myself into thinking you'd forget about him."

 

Changmin nodded, still unwilling to meet Kyuhyun's gaze. "I'm sorry. I...I plan on wrapping up my commitment here as soon as possible and then moving back Seoul."

 

A beat of silence followed before Kyuhyun stuttered in shock, "You - You're not going to stay here? You're not going to work things out with Yunho?"

 

"No, that doesn't seem wise." Changmin finally looked up. "I couldn't hold on to him the first time. And I just lost you. I need to be alone for a while. Figure out what I want." Yunho and Arjana came to mind...if he tried to create a home with them and then screwed it up in some way, he'd never forgive himself.

 

Kyuhyun's eyes were full of pained tenderness. "Changmin...from the bottom of my heart, I will miss you."

 

Changmin gave a crooked smile and reached for Kyuhyun's hand. "I'll miss you. But - But we don't want the same things...it's better to end it now, I suppose."

 

Kyuhyun squeezed his hand and scooted closer. He cupped Changmin's face and said, "Let's make-love, in farewell. I can still be your friend, Changmin, but I'm gonna need space for a quite a while...you're not easy to get over." Kyuhyun let out a bitter laugh.

 

Changmin caved and leaned down to capture Kyuhyun's lips in a long kiss. He pushed Yunho from his mind and focused, for last time, on the man in his arms...the man who would always be his best friend.

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

Days ran on autopilot after Kyuhyun left him. Changmin woke up, most days with Arjana in his arms, and ate breakfast with Yunho then headed to the school. He taught his classes, tutoring his students when needed, then returned home to quietly have dinner with Yunho and Arjana. After that, he retired to bed, where he read until sleep overtook him.

 

It became routine. He and Yunho never spoke about Kyuhyun or that night in the restaurant. In fact, they only spoke to each other when it was necessary. Sometimes, Changmin got the impression Yunho wanted to say something...but then it passed and Yunho would leave the room, breaking their awkward staring match.

 

Yunho often met up with Hojun. Which Changmin desperately tried to not think too long and hard about. _It doesn't matter...Yunho is not yours._

 

A month passed.

 

Changmin was slowly coming out of his stupor, and starting to pay a little more attention to the world around him. This included the looks of longing Yunho sent his way when he thought he wasn't looking, or the sweet way Arjana called for him when he wasn't paying enough attention to her.

 

During sleep one night, Changmin grew restless...

 

_"I wanted a home and kids with you, Yunho!"_

 

_"Then why did you let me go? Why did you never come after me?"_

 

_He saw Yunho walking away from him. And no matter how fast Changmin ran, he never caught up to him._

 

_Soon, Yunho disappeared._

 

Jerked awake by the nightmare, Changmin sat up in bed, panting and wiping the sweat and tears running down his face. His heart was aching and nearly pounding out of his chest.

 

He wanted Yunho.

 

Climbing out of bed, Changmin went to check on Arjana, who was sleeping soundly in her own bed, then he scampered towards Yunho's room. Heaving in a long breath, Changmin entered the bedroom unannounced.

 

Yunho was lying flat on his stomach, head turned away from the door. Changmin carefully lied on the bed and caressed Yunho's warm back. He heard the man mutter and moan in his sleep, and at the same time, turn to face him. Two cute eyes fluttered open then widened when they spotted him.

 

"C-Changmin? Is everything alright?"

 

Without speaking, Changmin glided a hand to Yunho's neck and rubbed gently. Yunho's eyes fluttered again, pleasure evident on that beautiful face as he edged closer, seeking more touches.

 

Damn, Changmin missed him.

 

They stayed that way for long time. Not uttering a word. Just watching each other.

 

Changmin let his hand roam downward, taking in the flicker of trepidation and desire on Yunho's face. Wetting his dry lips, Changmin slipped his hand underneath Yunho's pajama pants and waited to be slapped away. Nothing happened, though. So, Changmin took the silence as permission to squeeze one smooth, plump cheek.

 

Yunho began to squirm. "OH...God...say something to me, Changmin!" Yunho lower lip trembled. "Don't mess me. What do you want?"

 

There were many things Changmin could say at that moment. Many things he could confess to and apologize for. But nothing was coming out. Words were lodged in his throat, choking him into an unpleasant silence. A silence that was evidently hurting Yunho by the minute.

 

"Leave, Changmin!" Yunho croaked, flipping over to scoot off the other side of the bed. "I don't know why you thought coming in here was a good idea."

 

Changmin released a shuttered breath and made a risky grab at Yunho's waist, jerking the distraught man back down onto the bed. He buried his face in Yunho's neck, mouthing at the soft skin until it turned red and Yunho was sinking back into his arms. _So_ pliantly too.

 

 _God, yes._ This was all he wanted. Right here. This man, this moment, right now.

 

Yunho undressed and lied back against a plush pillow. Changmin took in the sight of the golden, bare flesh he hadn't dared fantasize about for two years. Yunho inquired dishearteningly, "You have nothing to say to me?"

 

Before responding, Changmin removed his clothes and threw them in a heap on the floor. Eyes never leaving Yunho's, Changmin shakily broke his silence, "There is nothing I can say that will fix the past. Nothing that will fill the emptiness I'm feeling and calm the mounting regret of how I treated Kyuhyun and you in the past. I just woke up from a nightmare and all I want is _you_. Can I have you?"

 

Parting his full lips, Yunho opened his arms. Changmin bent to take those lips in an ardent kiss. He plunged hungrily into that warm, willing mouth and parted Yunho's thighs so he could settle between them.

 

Changmin kissed all the way down Yunho's supple body until he reached the growing hardness, which begged for his attention. He took all of Yunho into his mouth and ran his tongue eagerly down the thick length. Yunho writhed and arched up, sinking further into Changmin's mouth.

 

Lifted his mouth off, Changmin requested hoarsely, "Lube?"

 

"Here!" Yunho reached blindingly into the dresser next to the bed and tossed it on the bed. "Hurry!"

 

Changmin wasted no time, squirting a generous amount of lube on his aching manhood and Yunho's entrance. Grappling for Yunho's thighs again, Changmin wrapped the man's long legs around him and lunged forward, taking Yunho with one hard push.

 

Changmin grunted out, "Fuck...still so tight...", moving in quick strokes.

 

Choked moans escaped Yunho, "No...one...since...you..." and he bucked up wildly.

 

Gobsmacked, Changmin slowed to stare. "What? B - But...Hojun?"

 

Yunho dug his nails in Changmin's back and cried out, "I lied...keep moving, please!"

 

A very familiar feeling he wasn't ready to acknowledge swarmed his heart. He pushed it aside to give all he had to the man underneath him. The more open and pliant Yunho became, the harder Changmin _gave and gave_. Until they were both climaxing, sweaty chests heaving as they collapsed against one another.

 

They held each other afterwards. As Yunho slipped back into a deep sleep, Changmin took the opportunity to gaze at him. _I still love you. So much. But I can't screw this up again. I can't lose you again!_

 

Unbidden fear suffocated him, and suddenly, he had to be away from Yunho. Quietly slipping out of the bed, Changmin put his clothes back on and padded out of the room.

 

It was time for him to leave.

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

The next day, Changmin avoided an awkward run-in during breakfast and walked to the school early, picking up breakfast on the way. Once he was in his classroom, he made a long-distance call to one of his colleagues and called in a favor. His colleague was very understanding and plans were already in progress once he'd hung up. After a long day of lessons, Changmin paid a visit to Yunho's office to inform the man of his decision. He took a deep breath and fired the first shot...

 

"I will be leaving. And going back to Seoul."

 

Yunho dropped the pen in his hand. "Excuse me?"

 

"A colleague of mine at the university owes me a favor," Changmin started explaining. "He will be taking over my position here. And happy to do it too. He's always scooping out new opportunities for research and travel."

 

A scowl marred Yunho's countenance. "I hired _you_ for this position, Changmin. These students have grown to love you. They need you here. And now you're just going to abandon them?"

 

"Well, I can't stay here any longer, I'm sorry." Changmin stared out the window, watching a few kids kick around a ball in the small courtyard. "Recent events have made things between us more complicated. I think it's for the best."

 

"Why would it be more complicated? It was only sex after all." Yunho snapped up from his chair, and briskly scorned, "Oh, but you know best, don't you? _Good-bye_ , then."

 

_Shots fired...and I lost._

 

Changmin bowed out of the room, determined not to let himself _feel_ anything. One his way out of the school, he spotted Arjana through the small window of the preschool classroom. She must have sensed him because she looked straight at him and clapped happily.

 

Tears filled his eyes. He waved and swallowed thickly. "Good-bye."

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

Changmin left as soon as his colleague arrived at the village a few weeks later. His students had huddled around him and embraced him, genuinely upset as they begged him to stay. It tore him up to leave them...

 

Since his announcement to leave, he and Yunho had been living like strangers in the house, the only thing binding them had been Arjana.

 

Leaning back into the airplane seat, Changmin shut his eyes as Arjana's cries echoed in his head. He'd never forget the little girl's tears as she watched him leave. Never forget how Yunho held her and glared at him with such betrayal.

 

Siwon had been the only one eager to come with him to the airport. At the gate, he had cupped Changmin's shoulders. "Take care of yourself. If - If you get a chance...tell Kyuhyun hello for me." And then he had said something heavy with meaning, "Listen to the message, Changmin."

 

He was plagued with nightmares all through the long flight. When he finally arrived in Seoul, Changmin was shocked at the intense bout of unhappiness that hit him. He took a taxi to his apartment and found it half-empty.

 

Kyuhyun had, of course, moved out.

 

Changmin crumpled to the floor. He already missed Yunho...missed Arjana. Missed their little home in Africa.

 

 _Their_ home. Since when had he started thinking of it as _their_ home?

 

Releasing a long breath, Changmin took his cell phone out of his pocket and dialed his voicemail code. He finally wanted to listen...

 

_"You have one old message..."_

 

_"H-Hi Changmin. It's Yunho...I know...why am I calling, right? I promise I don't mean to disrupt your life but I saw your name on a list and had to call...I have a great opportunity for you, a chance for you to travel. I know you weren't too keen on that two years ago, but I thought it might interest you..."_

 

There was a long pause; Changmin gripped the phone like a life-line.

 

_"...God, I've missed you. I've thought of you every day since I walked out. I have never stopped loving you. Ever. I wish we could have a second chance. Never mind, that's stupid. You've probably moved on...Changmin, d - do you still love me at all?"_

 

_Beep!_

 

_"End of messages, to delete this message press - "_

 

The phone slid from Changmin's grasp.

 

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

 

The sun's rays hit his eyes as he stepped out of the taxi. The village hadn't changed. The small, quaint house was still at the top of the hill, surrounded by the setting sun's red and orange hues like a halo.

 

Changmin smiled, legs a bit wobbly as he hiked up the hill.

 

He dropped his suitcase when the front door of the house suddenly opened and Yunho appeared.

 

"Hi." Changmin absorbed the beautiful sight of Yunho in shorts and a long t-shirt; a seemingly domestic vision waiting for him on the porch at sunset.

 

Eyes rounded and disbelieving, Yunho mutely watched Changmin approach the front steps.

 

Arjana ran out the doorway, past her father, and threw her small arms around Changmin's legs. "Min!"

 

The strong affection he held for this little girl made his heart leap. "Hello, sweetheart." He picked her up and carried her over to her father. "I'm home."

 

Yunho stood speechless. Changmin reached over to cradle the man's small face. "To answer your question: I _do_ still love you. And I wanna second chance. A chance to make things right. I'm not giving up on you ever again!"

 

Moisture trickled onto Changmin's palm. "Oh..." Yunho sniffled brokenly.

 

Making sure Arjana was secured on his hip, Changmin wrapped an arm around Yunho's waist, pulling the man forward. He grew positively delighted when Yunho came willingly. "I've missed you, I'm sorry I...I don't... _shit_."

 

"Oh, Changmin...shush, now."

 

Pressing his lips to Yunho's head, Changmin gently held the love of his life to his chest. When Yunho laid a kiss over his heart, Changmin clutched him tighter.

 

They swayed like this.

 

With Arjana babbling and giggling between them.

 

 _Sometimes_ not saying much was enough.

 

 


End file.
